


Year 3000

by sabraneadaz



Series: some wildly specific dates and some not so specific dates [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Banter, Crack, Friendship, Future, Gen, Humor, Time Travel, not a songfic (i promise), reference to spy kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:55:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22409806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabraneadaz/pseuds/sabraneadaz
Summary: “So, what?” Ryan asked the Doctor. “Humans turn into, like, mermaids then?”“Sort of,” the Doctor said, “but not really. I mean sort of like mermaids but without the tails or conveniently placed seashells.”Graham snorted. “So not like mermaids at all then.”
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan & Graham O'Brien & Ryan Sinclair
Series: some wildly specific dates and some not so specific dates [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612783
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Year 3000

**Author's Note:**

> You know what the title is lol  
> Enjoy :)

Graham had spent the morning in town with his mates at the only pub that seemed to be perpetually open. They’d often pop in around ten, when the bar was attended by only the most dedicated alcoholics, and nab their regular table over in the corner by the fire. Pork scratchings and a half-pint (his tolerance wasn’t what it once was) would be followed by a chilled game of darts.

Ryan had spent the morning trying to sleep, but travelling in the TARDIS had caught up with him and time-travel jetlag urged him awake at 4:56am. He spent the following hours playing on his phone, snacking on food straight from the fridge, and now he had his headphones on and was (rather embarrassingly) scratching some imaginary records.

Graham’s hearing, like his alcohol tolerance, wasn’t what it used to be, so it was a fortunate thing that when he came home at lunchtime he took the bins out the back and heard the distinctive wheeze of the TARDIS landing square in front of him.

The Doctor’s head popped out.

“Graham! Alright? Thought I’d pop over – see if you wanted a trip somewhere? Yaz is here already – say hi, Yaz?”

“Alright?” Yaz said, appearing in the doorway.

Yaz had been coming off an early morning shift on the beat when the Doctor had turned up at her house uninvited. Yaz wasn’t about to leave her alone with her family – who knows what could happen – but she managed to settle her on the couch with some of her dad’s conspiracy material while she drank several strong coffees at the kitchen counter.

“I’ll get Ryan,” Graham said. He hurried through the backdoor.

“Oi! Bring some of those mango things! The brown ones!” The Doctor yelled.

She turned back to Yaz.

“Mango things?”

“Yeah. Had them last time I was here. Comes in a little box – had to break it apart using a toffee hammer!”

“Doctor, by any chance, was it circular and wrapped in orange and blue foil?”

“Yeah, that’s it! Love ‘em.”

Yaz raised her eyebrows, but the Doctor wasn’t paying attention.

At that moment, Graham and Ryan joined them in the TARDIS.

“Think fast, Doc!” Graham called, and tossed three balls at her in quick succession. She, amazingly, caught all three with little effort.

“Show off,” Ryan said.

“Terry’s chocolate orange,” Graham explained. “I know they’re your favourite.”

“Chocolate orange!” The Doctor said, leaning forward in excitement. “That’s the one. What is it with you humans and making food that’s meant to look like other food?” While she spoke she danced around the TARDIS, hitting levers and pressing buttons and even once giving the console a bit of a nudge with her foot. “And they never even taste like the original thing anyway?”

While she performed, Yaz and Ryan split another chocolate orange between them.

“A more accurate name would be A-Chocolate-Ball-Slightly-Reminiscent-Of-An-Orange, yeah? I’ll have to tell Terry that.”

“Where are we going, Doc?”

“Dunno, yet. But we’ve just landed.”

“Oh,” Graham said, and then reached out to open the TARDIS door.

“Wait!” the Doctor yelled.

Graham’s hand froze on the wood.

“Need to relocate a bit,” she said, staring intently at the screen.

“What is it?” Ryan asked. He put down the chocolate orange.

“Uh, nothing. We’re just underwater at the mo. Not a problem, I’d just rather not flood the console room again.”

“Again?” Ryan mouthed to Yaz. She shrugged.

“I just need to… ah! There. Should be above water level now. Come on, gang!”

And before they knew it, she was out the door.

Ryan, Graham, and Yaz all followed her out, and looked around at the odd landscape around them. Stretching into the distance and visible from their perch on what seemed to be a small hill rising out of water, there were long lines of tiled domes and peaks, damp and strewn with seaweed.

“Huh,” said Ryan.

“Uhhh…” said Graham.

“Doctor?” said Yaz.

The Doctor knelt down and shoved her hand straight into the saturated soil at their feet. Unaware of Yaz’s frown, she stuck her fingers straight in her mouth.

“Late 2000s I think, or early 3000s. Aw, brilliant! I haven’t been here for so long. Forgot how fun this era is!”

Graham’s voice was disturbed. “Uh, Doc – don’t mean to worry you, but we’re kind of stranded here.”

“Not to worry – I’ve got some rebreathers somewhere. We’ll fetch them and then go and explore.”

“Rebreathers?” Ryan asked. “You mean go underwater?”

“Well how else are we going to get around?” the Doctor asked in disbelief.

“Doctor, where _exactly_ are we?” Yaz said, cutting to the chase.

“Right. Earth, year 3000. Water levels rising, humans have to adapt, right? Extraordinary feat of evolution in under a thousand years! The space tech helped accelerate that, of course, and the adaption systems aren’t a hundred percent for another fifty years or so, but, seriously, it’s _brilliant_.”

Yaz was smiling. “Year 3000?” she asked.

Ryan shot a glance at her, wondering what was so funny. “So, what?” he asked the Doctor. “Humans turn into, like, mermaids then?”

“Sort of,” the Doctor said, “but not really. I mean sort of like mermaids but without the tails or conveniently placed seashells.”

Graham snorted. “So not like mermaids at all then.”

“Pretty much,” said the Doctor. She carried on chatting while she collected some soil and shoved it in a test tube hidden in the depths of her coat. “The houses were just abandoned, and on high ground like this you can still see the roofs. I came here once before actually with a boy band. Met them at a pub quiz where the judges asked how many studio albums this band had made. I said seven and this guy said there were only four and he should know because he was the lead singer. I brought the band here afterwards to prove it.”

“Did you win the round?” Graham asked.

“They kicked me out,” she said. “Corrupt lot, quizmasters – never trust them.”

Ryan pointed at a large fabric banner attached to a roof in the distance. “Am I going mad or is that a poster of Michael Jackson.”

“It does look like him,” Yaz said, squinting.

“Oh yeah, very popular in 3000, is Mikey,” the Doctor said. 

“Hold up, you lot. We’ve got a bigger problem,” Graham warned, and they all turned in the direction he was looking. Not far away, seated on the slope of a roof was a woman, with a sickly tinge and wrinkly texture to her skin. It was hard to tell from a distance, but they could have sworn she had three breasts.

Yaz began to laugh. Giggles at first, and then rapidly into heaving hysterics.

“What the hell, Yaz?” asked Ryan.

Disturbingly, Yaz looked as if she was about to cry.

“Nothing,” she gasped, shaking her head. Another burst of giggles and she said “It’s nothing, really, it’s just – she’s pretty fine!”

And with that Yaz bent double with laughter, before fleeing to the TARDIS for some space to calm down.

**Author's Note:**

> So that happened! Sorry!  
> You can find me on tumblr at [folieassdeux](http://folieassdeux.tumblr.com)  
> [(This fic is also on tumblr)](https://folieassdeux.tumblr.com/post/190466141645/year-3000)
> 
> The fam love each other and I love comments <3


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